Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Wise Words Wednesday

Instead of wordless Wednesday I am changing it up to Wise Words Wednesday...these words brought to you by the wonderful Mother Teresa:

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Fight and Fail

Jillian Michaels: “You fight and fail and then you fight and fail and then fight and fail again…and then you have a moment that shows you that it was all worth it.”

Simple but very true…this journey, this adventure, this life is cyclical…we go around and around stumble and fumble and try to make the best of choices we make…we make excuses, we make sacrifices, we make adjustments. We fight, we fail, and then we fight some more…because the other alternative is lying face down in the dirt and being defeated.  Sometimes it feels good to just lay there and wallow in self pity…but then that fleeting moment passes and you realize you’re laying down with your face in the dirt…whether it be literally, metaphorically, or a little bit of both. 
Does the fight and fail theory apply to all aspects of life?
Work – yep
Friendships/social life - yep
Weight loss journey – yep
Finding one’s inner triathlete – yep!
…and my list could go on and on…and I bet your list of applicable life aspects could too.
Life is far from easy…and it is definitely not a consecutive row of wins.  What I have come to realize is that it is not winning that makes us who we are…it’s the moments of failing that show us our defining character.  When you get knocked down do say “ok I’m done” or do you dig in and fight?  In those defining moments when failing is almost imminent do you sell yourself short or do you keep plugging away?
---For far too long I chose to just give up and accept failure as something final…the proverbial nail in the coffin---lying there and just thinking “yup this is life”---
 ---I mean who really likes to A. admit that they failed at something and B. admit that they allowed the failure to just become a defining characteristic of them?--- No one.  No one likes to fail and some people don’t like to fight…but in the end not fighting IS failing…failing is an opportunity to rearrange and modify the plan to find the successful path.  Failing allows for growth, and fighting allows for change.
I have been quite de-motivated as of lately…obviously!  The lack of motivation doesn’t just exist for my blogging but for pretty much every aspect of my life.  I let the failures drag me down into a dark dark unhappy place…and the fight to climb out just seemed (seems) slightly (ok majorly) overwhelming.  I have been fighting against the feeling of just accepting the fail and lying in the dirt…I’ve made excuses…I am tired, I deserve the rest, I have worked really hard, no one else has to fight this hard…….on and on, excuse by excuse, and shovel by shovel my hole got deeper and darker.  Wake-up call: giving up is not an option…keep fighting.
The wind has gone straight out of my sails and I have been floundering about…work has been extremely challenging and stressful, like more challenging than ever before, and I just didn’t want to track or go to WW anymore.  So I let stress get the best of me and just ransack my life…so I stopped caring and truly struggled to find the happiness in my work, and I stopped tracking and going to WW meetings. Big time fail…but I am starting to gain some form of perspective, which has lit the motivational flame of my metaphorical candle…which, in turn, has pushed me to dig out and fight on.........…
………………………...No one ever old me that it was going to be easy
and trust me when I tell you, the journey was not easy, breezy, or beautiful.  It was hard, sweaty, and ugly…very ugly at times (even to this day)…but what I frequently forget is that it was worth it…*knock knock* JEFFER SELF DO YOU HEAR ME? THIS FREAKING BATTLE AND THIS NEW YOU IS WORTH IT SO JUST…STOP.

Don’t get me wrong…there have been beautiful moments along the way…for goodness sakes I became a triathlete through it all…which is awesome and beautiful.  BUT it cannot and is not always about the finish line moments…it’s about the moments of weakness that lead up to those glorious, beautiful, awesome moments.  It is easy to be in those moments and appreciate the glory and the journey…but once the initial adrenaline wears off it becomes exceedingly hard to remember just how all the fighting is worth. 

Long story short:  I am a fighter who is not afraid of failing but failing is a blow to the confidence.  You take a hit when you fail…but we just have to remember that failing is a natural part of every journey…and that we will survive the failure IF we CHOOSE to continue to fight.

I have spent January and pretty much all of February battling the inner doldrums…the people around me- my support crew- remind me that I’m worth it…they’re the best.  But I didn’t believe it so I sabotaged myself and let the failure define me…until now…yes, the fight starts again…and yes, I will fail again but I’m gonna try my best to not let it get the best of me…no way, no how.

Work, weight maintenance, triathletism (not a word but I am making it one)…all stress me out…all make me want to cry, and have made me cry…will and have slammed failure in my face…will and have handed me winning worthwhile flashes.  These things are who I am though.  They are worth every fight waged, every failing moment, and every victorious glorious superhero blaze.

And with this I sign off…but mark my words: I will be back this week! 

Be a fighter, be a failure, be a superhero!